Today I decided to share with you all what my ultimate motivation for losing weight is. Maybe it will help you get motivated and get moving :)
To explain my story, let's start when I was little. I wasn't always an overweight child. At one point I even weighed less than most of my friends.
I can't remember how old I was, but around a time when school had not yet started for me, I got sick. Not just sick, but very sick. I got juvenile idiopathic arthritis in my legs. To explain this disease to you all, it is a very painful thing. Your entire body gets stiffer for every day, you can't walk, your joints get swollen, you feel a lot of pain and you lose your appetite. I distinctly remember how I could barely eat anything. One of my clearest memories from when I was in the hospital was how I got my dinner. I would eat a tiny bite of chicken and a tiny bite of the bread and then I just couldn't eat anymore.
On top of all the mentioned problems that occur, you also get flu like symptoms. There is just a catch with this disease. Those symptoms don't go away. I had a deadly high fever for weeks on end and I am lucky to still be alive to this day to tell you about my story.
At one point the doctors highly considered force feeding me. Luckily that never happened.
I had this disease for about 4 months and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
After I got rid of it, I slowly started gaining weight. I got to a healthy weight again and from there it just took off until I was overweight. We're not talking 10 kgs when I was little. It was just enough extra weight to be noticed but it was nothing huge.
Then the bullying started. There was a boy and a girl in my class who bullied pretty much everyone, but since I reacted very strongly to whatever they said to me, I was an obvious target. I still remember some of the crap they let out about me. Bullying quickly became a part of my every day but since I had a group of friends who were very supportive, I didn't listen to them... or so I thought. There is just this amazing little thing about the brain. It stores memories you wish you could just forget. As a result of all this bullying, I lost a lot of my self-esteem and I had no confidence and I still don't. I started comfort eating, even though I can't really remember this very well.
When I had my confirmation (and now I realize how stupid that was since I don't believe in god) I of course needed to buy a beautiful white dress. I remember how I broke down crying because I couldn't fit into any of the clothes I wish I could.
In 2011 I lost my grandmother. Right at the same time I nearly lost one of my best friends as well. That made me comfort eat a lot more than anything had ever done in my life.
I have always struggled a lot with my weight. I've tried a huge variety of diets and lifestyle changes but nothing helped because I was never dedicated enough. And let's face it. An 11 year old needs a lot of motivation in order to lose weight.
But here I am today. 17 years old and I have changed my life around. I don't want that excess weight. I don't want to hide every summer because I'm too afriad to go outside in a bikini. I want to wear shorts. I want to wear those dresses that show off your figure. And you know what? I will get there. Maybe not before this summer vacation, but I will have reached my goal by next year. I won't take a no for an answer. I won't let myself die unhappy because I didn't take control of my life.
How your body looks; how much exercise you do; how your life is. All of that is up to you. You can't blame society for how you look. There are only excuses as to how you feel but YOU can change that.
That is what I have told myself. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. And that is why I have put up with this for too long. It's time to change how I have lived for 17 years and make my life different. I want to be happy and healthy and I will be!
So to sum up all of that. No matter your story and your history, and no matter what the reason as to why you're overweight; YOU are the only one standing in the way of getting to where you want.
I have never had a boyfriend. I have never even had that first kiss. I have been bullied and put down my entire life but I am done with that.
And that is what my motivation is.
Find what your motivation is. Write it down and keep it in the back of your head every day. That is what I do and that is what keeps me fighting for what I want.
I hope that helped inspire some of you :)
Love,
Wolfie <3
P.S I'm off making some pancakes ;)
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